Jun 23, 2022
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20 Honest Signs He Pretends To Love You And Doesn’t Care

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I love being in a relationship. I love the knowing that, at the end of every day, there is someone to look forward to coming home to. That’s why I’m very fortunate: I have an amazing boyfriend. When we first started dating, we were both so excited that it felt like we were on a honeymoon all the time. But then came our first fight and our second date and our third date and… well, you get the picture. We were two people who didn’t know what they wanted but clearly knew it wasn’t this; yet somehow in spite of all that, we stuck together because neither one of us was ready to let go just yet.

Over time though, things between us began to shift—slowly at first, but then more quickly as we started seeing each other less often and spending less time together in general. Nowadays it can sometimes feel like my boyfriend and I are strangers merely sharing space rather than a couple connected by shared interests and experiences. And while some couples might be able to overcome their differences with enough effort (and perhaps even grow stronger for it), there are some things that are just too big for any relationship to overcome—which brings me back to my point about those relationships where you start off having so much fun but then slowly over time everything seems different…

It’s been nine years since you started dating.

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Signs He Pretends To Love You

Signs He Pretends To Love You

It’s been nine years since you started dating. You’re not sure what you want anymore. You’re not sure if you’re still in love.  Not sure if you’re ready to get married and have kids with him, because he isn’t exactly the kind of guy who wants to build a future with someone. He’s the kind of guy who just wants to hang around until his lease ends (then move out).

He isn’t even planning on proposing anytime soon—and that scares the hell out of me because it means that I might end up being 30 years old and alone like my friend Margarita, who is actually 35 years old at this point but no one believes her because she looks like a teenager when she dresses up for special occasions (and also doesn’t wear makeup).

His “weaknesses” are starting to become your worst weaknesses.

  • His “weaknesses” are starting to become your worst weaknesses.

If he’s not respecting you, he will never respect your boundaries. He may not admit it, but the way that he treats you is a clear indication of how he views women in general and how they should be treated. If he doesn’t treat you with respect, then there’s no reason for him to respect anyone else either.

  • You feel like his mother sometimes (or worse).

A relationship should be equal between two people; however, when one person starts treating the other as if they were inferior, then things can go downhill fast! The more authority someone has over us, the more likely we are to let them take advantage of us and abuse their power—this includes our parents and bosses at work as well as potential partners! In order for our relationships with others to work out well long-term though means both parties must play an active role in maintaining mutual respect while also communicating clearly so both sides understand each other’s needs at all times…

He can’t even remember what he said to you last.

He can’t even remember what he said to you last.

If he’s not paying attention to your words and actions, it’s probably because he doesn’t care about them. If he doesn’t care about the things that matter most to you, then why would he be interested in what you have to say? He may have some vague recollection of the conversation that took place between the two of you but if it didn’t impact his life in any way and didn’t affect him personally or emotionally, then there’s no need for him to remember anything beyond a surface level conversation.

This is especially true if you’ve been dating for awhile and have had many serious conversations with him over time. If one day out of nowhere all those deep conversations are forgotten (or worse yet never happened), this might be a sign that something has changed within your relationship and potentially within yourself as well.

He gets frustrated with you when you try to change him.

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If he gets frustrated with you when you try to change him, then it’s because he doesn’t want to change. And if he doesn’t want to be a better person for himself or for you, then that means he doesn’t care about making his life better or yours easier. He wants things the way they are, and if that means being rude or selfish sometimes, so be it. If someone isn’t willing to make themselves better for themselves and their own personal growth, then they’re not ready for a relationship in the first place–and definitely not ready for one with someone else who cares about those things as much as you do.

He talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk

He talks the talk, but doesn’t walk the walk.

He’s full of empty promises that he never follows through on. He makes you feel like you are his princess and then the next day he acts like it was nothing. THAT says he loves you, but when you look in his eyes, there is no love there. He tells everyone how much he cares about you and how great of a person you are to everyone in public (even though sometimes behind your back), but as soon as no one is watching him or listening anymore? His actions speak louder than words at that point.

He only thinks about himself

A common sign of a narcissist is thinking about himself first, last and always. You’ll notice that he never asks about your day or what’s going on in your life; he doesn’t care about how you feel or how you’re feeling. If you ask him how his day went and he says “fine,” but then goes on to tell you all the things that happened during his workday, chances are high that this man only pretends to love you when it benefits him—which explains why he won’t take time out of his busy schedule to talk with you about yours.

When it comes to interests, dreams and goals too many men act like they have no interest in learning more about yours because they don’t want their egos bruised by hearing something negative (like maybe your dream isn’t as crazy as theirs). They really have no incentive for trying at all if it doesn’t directly benefit them so why bother?

Similarly with opinions—if they don’t agree with yours then forget it! A man who cares will at least listen attentively before diving into an argument just because “you were wrong” (and yes I’ve been there).

You find yourself walking on eggshells

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If you find yourself walking on eggshells around your partner, it’s time to realize that he may not be as committed to the relationship as you are. His behavior is a sign that he does not care about your feelings and does not want to upset you. He might get angry easily or have a short temper.

If your partner displays other signs of being a bad boyfriend like being jealous or possessive, it’s even more likely that he doesn’t care about your feelings and won’t want to make any changes in his own behavior.

want to make him happy, but he won’t let you.

You want to make him happy, but he won’t let you.

You might be thinking that the best way to make your partner happy is by doing what he wants and giving him everything he needs. But if you’ve been trying that for awhile and still aren’t sure how he feels about your relationship, it’s possible that he isn’t as into making you happy as you are.

It can be hard to accept when someone doesn’t care about your feelings and needs—especially if they are supposed to love you. But if this guy is really not into making an effort in order to please his partner, then there’s no way of knowing if or when things will change—and in some cases, they never do!

He only sees himself in his friends.

If you’re in a relationship with a man who only sees himself in his friends or makes no effort to understand what you’re going through, he doesn’t care about your relationship.

He doesn’t try to learn about your interests, or make an effort to find out what makes you tick.

He won’t listen when you talk; if he does try to “listen,” it’s for only so long as it takes for him to formulate an answer or rebuttal (i.e., if he says something like, “I hear what you’re saying,” but then cuts off your conversation shortly thereafter).

If something upsets him—say, that old argument where he accused one of your friends of being flaky because they were late—he’ll bring it up again later and act like nothing happened previously (or worse: accuse YOU of being flaky).

You’re already feeling that there’s no spark between you two anymore.

  • You’re already feeling that there’s no spark between you two anymore.
  • You don’t feel like you’re growing together anymore.
  • You’re no longer attracted to each other.
  • You’re no longer interested in each other’s lives.
  • You’re no longer interested in each other’s ideas.

Your relationship is now a dance of polite avoidance and polite indifference.

If you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t care about you, you may not realize it because they’ll try to make you think otherwise. They’ll tell you how much they love and appreciate your company, or how much they value the time spent together. But if those things aren’t true (and they aren’t), then the relationship won’t be fun anymore. It won’t be exciting and fulfilling anymore either—or satisfying—because it’s just not working out!

Let’s talk about what happens when things get boring in a relationship: both parties are happy at first because there’s something new happening, but then as time goes by it becomes clear that what originally attracted them has lost its sparkle. The same old stuff starts happening again.

and again…and again until finally both parties start feeling like there isn’t really anything left worth getting excited about anymore except maybe their own lives outside of this thing called “relationship” that never seems to go anywhere anyway because nothing ever changes between them besides minor details like whose turn it is today for picking up dinner on Friday night so we can eat together before going home alone across town where we live separately from each other (if only briefly) with our respective roommates who serve as social companionship whenever necessary during evenings/weekends when neither one wants company after work hours end early enough due . . .

The signs he wants you to ignore are the ones that truly matter.

You need to be aware of these signs and take them seriously. A man who is not interested in you, not committed to you, not loyal to you, not going to be a good husband or father and also a bad partner. He will also make a lousy friend because he doesn’t care enough about any one person.


If you’re still wondering if he’s into you in the same way as before, it’s time to look at his actions. If a man is truly interested in you, he will make an effort to spend quality time with you and talk on the phone or Skype regularly. He should be talking about future plans and goals, not just present ones. If all of this sounds familiar then chances are that yes, indeed he really does love you! But if none of these things happen… well then maybe it’s best not to waste any more precious time on someone who’s heart isn’t really into yours anymore anyway.

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